The Best Way To Avoid Disappointment Is To Not Expect Anything From Anyone ...
Interoffice Memo
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES FROM: Human Resources It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers. Therefore, a list of TRY SAYING new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees. SO... TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: When the hell do you expect me to do this? TRY SAYING: I'm certain that is not feasible. INSTEAD OF: No fuckin way!! TRY SAYING: Really? INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me. TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with... INSTEAD OF: Tell someone...
